Jane, my wonderful oncology nurse, called me today. She usually calls the day before my chemo appointment to tell me how wonderful my "numbers" are from my blood test and to remind me to show up on time for chemo. Today, she said my white blood count was very low, and I would have to wait a week for my last chemo session. Oddly, I'm disappointed.
Why am I disappointed, you ask? Because my otherwise perfect recovery is now tainted, and I am, once again, reminded I'm not Wonder Woman. I wish I knew why I have this drive to be perfect at everything. And why on Earth do I feel the need to be the perfect cancer patient. And what the hell does that even mean? I have cancer for Pete's sake! (Who IS Pete anyway?) I should be happy I haven't spend the last 14 weeks puking up my guts. And don't get me wrong, I'm very happy and grateful about how I've fared in the whole process and the wonderful support I've received. I just can't wrap my head around this feeling. Crazy!
Today a group of my favorite people at work threw a "Congratulations! Tomorrow is your last day of chemo" party for me. It was wonderful!!! As I told my boss, it's my first ever surprise party. Even with all the hints I had, I still didn't have a clue my budget meeting was going to consist of great people, fabulous cupcakes, pink and white M&Ms, and presents. You think I would have figured something was up when I saw "Harrison, et al re: Budget" on my boss's calendar and was told, "It must be another Harrison" by one person and "It must be a mistake. His calendar says, 'Hold' at that time" by another person. I'm the only Harrison I know who hits him up for money. LOL! Didn't even phase me. Jennifer, you can thank my chemo brain. That and knowing how ahead of the game you are on stuff made me not even think twice about an early budget meeting. ;-)
And so, after writing the previous paragraph, I have to laugh at the one before it. I have such wonderful people in my life who like me just the way I am and don't expect me to walk into work sporting a weird semi-bikini outfit, blue cape and boots, and a star tiara. I do like Wonder Woman's bullet-repelling bracelets, however, and may have to snag a pair of those to go with my work uniform of turtlenecks and plaid pants. ;-)
Pete is St. Peter and apparently it's ok to complain in his name rather than in Christ or God's name. Thank you internet.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have to wait one more week!
We too are sorry you have to wait. Glad we could be the first to surprise you and maybe it won't be the last ;-) BTW, I'll let you borrow my bracelets and headband if you like, but the magic rope of truth is on loan.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the last treatment, Molly!!
ReplyDeleteYou are a SUPER super woman!