Well, that didn't happen

What didn't happen?  I was a complete wuss and couldn't irrigate my wound.  I can give myself shots, but I can't clean out a gaping opening in my chest.  Imagine that?!  What are docs thinking, really?  There's a reason why a large percentage of the population decide not to become doctors or nurses.  The human body can be gross!  So, what did I do?  Called good ol' Kaiser Permanente and said, "No can do" and "Find me a nurse who can" and surprise, surprise, they did.  Another reason I love Kaiser... Aunt Betty, our family nurse (yes, she's a real nurse), said many insurance companies won't approve visits by a nurse or to a doctor's office to clean wounds if there is an able-bodied adult in the household who can do it.  That's nuts.  In my case, if this infection doesn't go away, the expander and alloderm have to be removed.  No implant for me.  I'll be left with a lump for the rest of my life.  I would say the stakes are pretty high for me, and a trained professional should be the one trying to help me save my boob.  What about someone trying to save a leg?  At least I can stuff one of Erik's socks in my bra for the next 60 years.  There's no hiding a missing leg.  Enough ranting...

It's been a hell of a week, and my sleep schedule is completely out of whack.  I took a 4 hour nap this afternoon, and I'm wide awake at 2:00AM.  I am tired, but I can't get comfortable to sleep.  Between muscle spasms, fever, chills, infection, and plain ol' pain, my body has had enough.  I'm on enough medication to finance Charlotte's education via the black market, but nothing is helping right now.  Speaking of medication...

I'm on the antibiotic, Augmentin, and of course, I have a visualization for the fight between the bacteria and and the Augmentin.  The drug is supposed to clean out the bacteria, right?  So, I visualize it as a team of maids, in French maid outfits, with feather dusters.  Only the dusters shoot lasers.  They wander around my boob, cleaning as the go, and when they find a bacteria blob, they shoot it with their laser-duster.  Not only does this visualization help me feel like I have power in this fight, it makes me laugh.  I told you...too many medications in my system...

The nurse who cleaned my wound last night in the after hours clinic told me I need to find things to make me laugh to help me get through this whole ordeal.  Between Charlotte, Erik, my family, my friends, and my own imagination, there's plenty of laughter ringing through my life.  ;-)