My recovery was going well for the better part of two weeks. The first few days after surgery are a painful blur, but the pain lessened each day. Last week, I was able to get out of the house and have lunch with friends. And then it was Thursday night. I developed severe muscle spasms in my neck and back, and Friday night I was in the after hours Kaiser clinic to get relief. The initial relief came from the biggest needle I've seen in a long time (and I've seen many needles recently!). I didn't care...the pain killer in that shot was wonderful. By the time I left Kaiser, I didn't feel anything. The next couple days were spent in a haze of muscle relaxers and Percoset. I can see how people become addicted to them. They put you in a calm other-worldly state. Anyway, I digress...
The muscle pain went away, but then I never regained my energy. Tuesday evening, I started to feel weak. I didn't think much of it due to the amount of medication I was on. I figured the drugs hadn't left my system yet. I also started to feel much more pain in my breast, which I thought was odd given how well I felt last week. Long story short- I have a significant infection in my breast. I'm on antibiotics and have to flush the wound with peroxide and saline. If the pain doesn't decrease by tomorrow morning, I go back on the table to have the expander and alloderm removed. That means I can't receive an implant to match my remaining breast. I may be able to receive an implant at a later date, but it will be small.
Part of me wants to get the expander and alloderm removed NOW. I don't like the idea of having this kind of infection, and the damn thing hurts! The other, more rational, part of me says to remain calm and try to save it. If the expander and alloderm remain in my breast, I can get the implant in a year or so, and I will look normal. Hence, I will feel more normal. <sigh> Basically, I have to do what the doctor tells me and ride it out. What will be, will be.
Whenever something like this happens, I make myself think about the good things going on right now. Charlotte is with her grandma, pop, cousins, and aunts having a wonderful time and being spoiled. :-) Bea is laying at my feet looking oh so cute as she sleeps. The sun is shining brightly today, and I'm in the air conditioning. The heat will subside eventually, and I'll sit on my deck with a great book given to me by a friend. Erik was there for me yet again this morning keeping me positive and giving me a hand to hold. <another sigh> Things will get better.
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